Read someone else's post and think - THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY - why can they put in into words so much better than I can????
This is what I read today.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Getting Real About Food (and a few other things)
My friend Angel put out a challenge for us today to GET REAL about our lives. I have been giving a lot of thought to a particular issue lately - so this is my impetus to try to put this in writing!
Before I get to the particular issue - I'll be real about a few other things! Having 3 kids is the hardest thing I have ever done! I know I had rough "mommy moments" when I just had one or when I had two - but they have been much more common in the past two years! Overall I LOVE being a stay at home mom and really wouldn't change it for the world - but dang, it is HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are sometimes when it can feel so monotonous - especially in the mornings - get up - get everybody fed, get everybody dressed - keep the boys from beating on each other! Keep everyone's voices down enough so that the neighbors don't call social services! (this has crossed my mind a lot lately since the window's are open now) I have really been faced with my selfishness a lot lately! I realize that a lot of what drives me crazy in my kids behavior are things that I see in myself - reflected by them! I am trying to teach them that they cannot control what others do, but only their responses and reactions to that - and how often do I react and respond in sinful ways - A LOT - would be the answer to that! I wish I could control everything they do and have them act in the right way all the time - but guess what - THEY DON'T! And it is my choice in how to respond to it. One positive is that I really try to admit my mistakes to my kids and I often do apologize and ask for forgiveness. I hope this is helping them to keep it real and be able to admit mistakes!
Now onto the other issue!
FOOD!
I LOVE FOOD! I LOVE TO EAT! Thankfully I am a healthy weight for my age and height - but it is something that I constantly struggle with. Several years ago I read "Weigh Down" and it made a lot of sense to me. The basic idea is not that foods are not inherently "bad" or "good", but that we should just eat when we are hungry and just eat enough to satisfy that hunger - not to be full. A few years later I went through a summer long small group with a group of women and we went through a similar book. It was good to talk about it with other women. My friend who led the group had lost 100 lbs mainly through the above philosphy. We talked a lot about using food for comfort and as a way to insulate ourselves from feelings -much the same way an alcoholic or drug addict uses those vices to escape from reality.
Fast forward to today. I have seasons in my life where I eat well and feel good and my clothes fit well, etc. I have other seasons where this is not so much the case. Until a few weeks ago I was in the latter season. On the other hand my DH has been a madman! He joined a gym 17 months ago and now has a trainer at work (lucky him!). He has lost 27 lbs and is looking and feeling great. His training suggested trying this 21-Day Jumpstart Plan and it is a very specific food plan. I am generally not in favor of this type of thing - but to make this somewhat shorter - I decided to do it along with him! I figured it wouldn't hurt to have my pants fit a bit better and to sort of detoxify my body from all the junk it had gotten used to lately.
OF COURSE, GOD had much more than that in store for me.
I am on Day 18 - for eighteen days, I have had no breads, no dairy and no sugar (not even fruit!). I do feel physically better and yes, my clothes are fitting well again. But the biggest things has been realizing how much I make food an IDOL! I can't tell you how many times I have just longed to eat something sweet or snacky! Is it because I am hungry? NO!!!!!!!!! It has made me look hard at this and realize that it is because I want the HIGH that will come with eating that particular food! It feels yucky to even type that out. It is helping me see again how broken and selfish I am. The days are stressful with the kids and this is often what I find my comfort in! The interesting thing is that I rarely hear this talked about in Christian circles - in fact, many times getting together with Christians is often focused on lots of food (generally the unhealthy stuff). If eating to satisfy an emotional need is SIN then we invite each other into more often than we know! I am not trying to say that we should not enjoy our food, or have meals together- eating together is a HUGE part of many cultures and there are many good things about it! I just wonder how often we sweep this SIN under the rug!
So back to my struggle. In these past few weeks, I have been at times quite irritable (in withdrawl) because I am being denied my comfort from food. How this has made me see how much I am NOT turning to God to fulfill all my needs. This time around I have also thrown in the layer of the awareness of hunger in the world. Even though I can only eat certain things - I still have a pantry and frig full of them. How dare I be irritable and grumpy about not being able to have my favorite things when so much of the world has NOTHING to eat! Again, this isn't about a guilt trip - I am just trying to peel back the layers of this issue and call it what it is!
I am still majorly in process in all of this and I know it will require daily choices for my whole life.
Any other thoughts out there? Am I the only one?
Before I get to the particular issue - I'll be real about a few other things! Having 3 kids is the hardest thing I have ever done! I know I had rough "mommy moments" when I just had one or when I had two - but they have been much more common in the past two years! Overall I LOVE being a stay at home mom and really wouldn't change it for the world - but dang, it is HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are sometimes when it can feel so monotonous - especially in the mornings - get up - get everybody fed, get everybody dressed - keep the boys from beating on each other! Keep everyone's voices down enough so that the neighbors don't call social services! (this has crossed my mind a lot lately since the window's are open now) I have really been faced with my selfishness a lot lately! I realize that a lot of what drives me crazy in my kids behavior are things that I see in myself - reflected by them! I am trying to teach them that they cannot control what others do, but only their responses and reactions to that - and how often do I react and respond in sinful ways - A LOT - would be the answer to that! I wish I could control everything they do and have them act in the right way all the time - but guess what - THEY DON'T! And it is my choice in how to respond to it. One positive is that I really try to admit my mistakes to my kids and I often do apologize and ask for forgiveness. I hope this is helping them to keep it real and be able to admit mistakes!
Now onto the other issue!
FOOD!
I LOVE FOOD! I LOVE TO EAT! Thankfully I am a healthy weight for my age and height - but it is something that I constantly struggle with. Several years ago I read "Weigh Down" and it made a lot of sense to me. The basic idea is not that foods are not inherently "bad" or "good", but that we should just eat when we are hungry and just eat enough to satisfy that hunger - not to be full. A few years later I went through a summer long small group with a group of women and we went through a similar book. It was good to talk about it with other women. My friend who led the group had lost 100 lbs mainly through the above philosphy. We talked a lot about using food for comfort and as a way to insulate ourselves from feelings -much the same way an alcoholic or drug addict uses those vices to escape from reality.
Fast forward to today. I have seasons in my life where I eat well and feel good and my clothes fit well, etc. I have other seasons where this is not so much the case. Until a few weeks ago I was in the latter season. On the other hand my DH has been a madman! He joined a gym 17 months ago and now has a trainer at work (lucky him!). He has lost 27 lbs and is looking and feeling great. His training suggested trying this 21-Day Jumpstart Plan and it is a very specific food plan. I am generally not in favor of this type of thing - but to make this somewhat shorter - I decided to do it along with him! I figured it wouldn't hurt to have my pants fit a bit better and to sort of detoxify my body from all the junk it had gotten used to lately.
OF COURSE, GOD had much more than that in store for me.
I am on Day 18 - for eighteen days, I have had no breads, no dairy and no sugar (not even fruit!). I do feel physically better and yes, my clothes are fitting well again. But the biggest things has been realizing how much I make food an IDOL! I can't tell you how many times I have just longed to eat something sweet or snacky! Is it because I am hungry? NO!!!!!!!!! It has made me look hard at this and realize that it is because I want the HIGH that will come with eating that particular food! It feels yucky to even type that out. It is helping me see again how broken and selfish I am. The days are stressful with the kids and this is often what I find my comfort in! The interesting thing is that I rarely hear this talked about in Christian circles - in fact, many times getting together with Christians is often focused on lots of food (generally the unhealthy stuff). If eating to satisfy an emotional need is SIN then we invite each other into more often than we know! I am not trying to say that we should not enjoy our food, or have meals together- eating together is a HUGE part of many cultures and there are many good things about it! I just wonder how often we sweep this SIN under the rug!
So back to my struggle. In these past few weeks, I have been at times quite irritable (in withdrawl) because I am being denied my comfort from food. How this has made me see how much I am NOT turning to God to fulfill all my needs. This time around I have also thrown in the layer of the awareness of hunger in the world. Even though I can only eat certain things - I still have a pantry and frig full of them. How dare I be irritable and grumpy about not being able to have my favorite things when so much of the world has NOTHING to eat! Again, this isn't about a guilt trip - I am just trying to peel back the layers of this issue and call it what it is!
I am still majorly in process in all of this and I know it will require daily choices for my whole life.
Any other thoughts out there? Am I the only one?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Dangerous Surrender - Chapter 3
Gloiously Ruined -
I am struggling a bit, because although I KNOW I am officially "seriously disturbed" - I am not sure yet that I am "gloriously ruined". Kay says, "you won't become gloriously ruined sitting in your living room" - ouch - that's where I am right now!
Over the past year a lot of the ways I have become "seriously disturbed" is by reading the blogs of many others that are "gloriously ruined" (or are on that journey like me) and I have been able to do that from my living room! I know that it is part of the process and work He has been doing in me but now...I am CONFIDENT that God is calling me OUT of the living room and I believe He has been preparing me for quite some time!
I have recently started to take some smaller steps OUT, yet I know He is calling me to MORE! God is developing in me a heart of compassion that I have never had before. I still have a lot of growing to do in the ACTION department. It is one thing to feel something when I read about suffering, it is quite another for me to step into someone's suffering. I still have fear, I still have my guard up - I'm still not quite sure what it looks like when I am the one God uses to bring hope to a suffering soul. But I know I WANT it - because I have become convinced that I will MEET GOD there. And isn't that always the cry of my heart - "God, I want you - I want to know you more". I believe He is telling me that that is HOW I will find Him and that is WHERE I will find Him.
This trip to Guatemala is going to be a stepping stone on the journey. I am so thankful that I am taking this trip with my husband and that we can have this experience together. We both sense that there are some new things on the horizon for us as a family and are seeking God to be in the center of His will.
I am struggling a bit, because although I KNOW I am officially "seriously disturbed" - I am not sure yet that I am "gloriously ruined". Kay says, "you won't become gloriously ruined sitting in your living room" - ouch - that's where I am right now!
Over the past year a lot of the ways I have become "seriously disturbed" is by reading the blogs of many others that are "gloriously ruined" (or are on that journey like me) and I have been able to do that from my living room! I know that it is part of the process and work He has been doing in me but now...I am CONFIDENT that God is calling me OUT of the living room and I believe He has been preparing me for quite some time!
I have recently started to take some smaller steps OUT, yet I know He is calling me to MORE! God is developing in me a heart of compassion that I have never had before. I still have a lot of growing to do in the ACTION department. It is one thing to feel something when I read about suffering, it is quite another for me to step into someone's suffering. I still have fear, I still have my guard up - I'm still not quite sure what it looks like when I am the one God uses to bring hope to a suffering soul. But I know I WANT it - because I have become convinced that I will MEET GOD there. And isn't that always the cry of my heart - "God, I want you - I want to know you more". I believe He is telling me that that is HOW I will find Him and that is WHERE I will find Him.
This trip to Guatemala is going to be a stepping stone on the journey. I am so thankful that I am taking this trip with my husband and that we can have this experience together. We both sense that there are some new things on the horizon for us as a family and are seeking God to be in the center of His will.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Back to Guatemala
Chris and I made the decision just last week! We are going on a 5 day missions trip to Guatemala in mid-July!
Since last fall I had been praying about a missions trip for this summer and I really was hoping to go to Guatemala. I spent LOTS of time online trying to find opportunities. I ended up finding a church in our demonination and in our area that was taking a team in June. I contacted them and was pretty sure this was IT! The day before I needed to make a commitment to the trip, Chris and I both decided that I wouldn't go at this time (the Orphan Summit had just come up and we decided that I would go to that instead). I was bummed about not going to Guat. but was at peace with the decision. Of course, God still has His hand in all of it. I ended up getting to meet Shelli, who was organizing the team and another friend of hers Kathy, that is adopting from Ethopia (amazing story - check out their blog!) They both attend different churches in the area and are interested in having adoption/orphan ministries at their church, so we know the Lord intended for us all to meet!
Now about THIS trip! Last fall I watched this video and it really made an impact on me! We made a donation to Healing Waters International They are a Colorado-based nonprofit that provides clean water to the urban poor of Guatemala, Mexico, and the Dominican Republic by installing water purification systems in local churches. The churches then sell the safe, purified water -- at a greatly reduced price -- to the people in their neighborhoods. Instead of living with intestinal sickness caused by contaminated water, people who couldn't otherwise afford clean water are now able to get it. Along the way, they get connected with their local church. The churches, in turn, are given a great way to reach out to and care for their communities. It's a brilliant concept that meets physical, financial, and spiritual needs...all at once.
A month or so ago we received an email from them about a trip to Guatemala! Chris and I both read it and said "let's go". We took awhile to pray about it and last Monday took the plunge and bought plane tickets! Thanks to our wonderful family and church friends our children will be well cared for while we are there!
The couple in the video went to a grand opening of a purification system - our trip will be a bit different. We will have the opportunity to visit 2 of the churches with the systems. We will learn about them, talk to the pastors about how it has impacted their church and community and also have a meal with a family that has used the water and learn about their lives. We will also spend time serving at an elementary school in the area. The last day is planned for the group to do some sight-seeing, but Chris and I are working on spending that day at an orphanage!
We are so excited and I can't wait to truly experience Guatemala and connect with my daughter's birthcounty!
Since last fall I had been praying about a missions trip for this summer and I really was hoping to go to Guatemala. I spent LOTS of time online trying to find opportunities. I ended up finding a church in our demonination and in our area that was taking a team in June. I contacted them and was pretty sure this was IT! The day before I needed to make a commitment to the trip, Chris and I both decided that I wouldn't go at this time (the Orphan Summit had just come up and we decided that I would go to that instead). I was bummed about not going to Guat. but was at peace with the decision. Of course, God still has His hand in all of it. I ended up getting to meet Shelli, who was organizing the team and another friend of hers Kathy, that is adopting from Ethopia (amazing story - check out their blog!) They both attend different churches in the area and are interested in having adoption/orphan ministries at their church, so we know the Lord intended for us all to meet!
Now about THIS trip! Last fall I watched this video and it really made an impact on me! We made a donation to Healing Waters International They are a Colorado-based nonprofit that provides clean water to the urban poor of Guatemala, Mexico, and the Dominican Republic by installing water purification systems in local churches. The churches then sell the safe, purified water -- at a greatly reduced price -- to the people in their neighborhoods. Instead of living with intestinal sickness caused by contaminated water, people who couldn't otherwise afford clean water are now able to get it. Along the way, they get connected with their local church. The churches, in turn, are given a great way to reach out to and care for their communities. It's a brilliant concept that meets physical, financial, and spiritual needs...all at once.
A month or so ago we received an email from them about a trip to Guatemala! Chris and I both read it and said "let's go". We took awhile to pray about it and last Monday took the plunge and bought plane tickets! Thanks to our wonderful family and church friends our children will be well cared for while we are there!
The couple in the video went to a grand opening of a purification system - our trip will be a bit different. We will have the opportunity to visit 2 of the churches with the systems. We will learn about them, talk to the pastors about how it has impacted their church and community and also have a meal with a family that has used the water and learn about their lives. We will also spend time serving at an elementary school in the area. The last day is planned for the group to do some sight-seeing, but Chris and I are working on spending that day at an orphanage!
We are so excited and I can't wait to truly experience Guatemala and connect with my daughter's birthcounty!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
A Miraculous Friendship
This is about a friendship between 2 little girls. One born in China and one born in Guatemala. Through an amazing set of circumstances (some joyful and some painful) the Lord has brought both these girls to forever families in Michigan. Sometimes it is completely ordinary to see them playing together, but other moments when you think it all through - it can also take your breath away! Under what other circumstances would these 2 little girls ever have the chance to become friends?
Here they are playing together the other day!
(Becca is in white and Sophie is in yellow)
I would be remiss not to mention Sophie's mom, Aimee. I'm so grateful to have a friend who "gets me" and who is walking the same paths of ministry with me! Thank you for your miraculous friendship!
Here they are playing together the other day!
(Becca is in white and Sophie is in yellow)
I would be remiss not to mention Sophie's mom, Aimee. I'm so grateful to have a friend who "gets me" and who is walking the same paths of ministry with me! Thank you for your miraculous friendship!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Following or waiting?
I am so eager to follow God's footsteps - but He hasn't yet told me where I am going.
It's been a fairly "blah" couple of weeks. As it happens - I was SO excited after returning from the Orphan Summit. I was ready to take on the world - now I feel like I am back in the dealing with the "everydayness" of life.
I still struggle to find the balance of it all. Is God going to send me out with a mission for Him when I still struggle at home with selfishness, when I don't prioritize my husband, when I lose my patience with my children? I only have to look at the disciples to know the answer to that question. God using me isn't dependent on me getting my act together - but it is still something I struggle with.
Lord, help me be faithful with the mission at hand - in my home - and help me to know where you are leading.
It's been a fairly "blah" couple of weeks. As it happens - I was SO excited after returning from the Orphan Summit. I was ready to take on the world - now I feel like I am back in the dealing with the "everydayness" of life.
I still struggle to find the balance of it all. Is God going to send me out with a mission for Him when I still struggle at home with selfishness, when I don't prioritize my husband, when I lose my patience with my children? I only have to look at the disciples to know the answer to that question. God using me isn't dependent on me getting my act together - but it is still something I struggle with.
Lord, help me be faithful with the mission at hand - in my home - and help me to know where you are leading.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Real Hope for Haiti
I don't even remember how it all happened. Those of you in "blogland" know what I mean. You start on one blog that links you to another and to another and then you say - I found this great blog, but you're not really sure exactly how you got there!
Sometime last fall, I bumped into a blog by the Livesays - they are ministering in Haiti and I was immediately hooked by their "realness". I was also instantly drawn to Haiti and it's people. From the Livesay's blog I was linked to Licia and Lori's blogs. The work that they are doing for the people of Haiti is amazing. There have been so many times that their blogs have made me cry. Sometimes the tears are for the people they help and sometimes the tears are for my own heart that would have rather not known or seen the suffering of the world and for the apathy that still can plague me.
More recently I stumbled across the blogs of Aaron and Jamie Ivey - they have been to the Rescue Center and are in the process of adopting two children that live there. They started a grassroots blogging campaign to raise awareness and funds for the Rescue Center! Chris and I were excited to be able to become involved with this ministry.
So much of my heart is in Guatemala, but a piece of it now also resides in Haiti, and I hope someday I will be able to see these ministries in person.
For more info on the Real Hope for Haiti Campaign - please visit here.
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